Monday, January 9, 2012

I'm just a silly girl

Sometimes I smile at you just so I can see you smile back.
Sometimes I do something stupid just to see if you will roll your eyes or do it with me.
Sometimes I run way faster than my body can go because I don't know how else to get my emotions out.
Sometimes I put myself down because I need you to lift me up.
Sometimes I lie about how I feel because I'm scared of what you would think.
Sometimes I watch chick flicks because I believe someday they will happen to me.
Sometimes I yell at my parents because they don't know you like I do.
Sometimes I cry after you leave because I don't know how to tell you you've hurt me.
Sometimes I call you a jerk because I'm not afraid of you.
Sometimes I write blogs about you because I miss you.
Sometimes I do my make-up different to see if you will notice.
Sometimes I feel like I love you too much but I can't help it.
Sometimes I stare at my phone waiting for you to text me.
Sometimes I ask you to explain something to me just so I can hear your voice.
Sometimes I want to run away but that would mean leaving you behind.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm the girl of your dreams because you are better than the man of mine.
Sometimes I go crazy worrying about everything and asking you dumb questions and wondering what's on your mind and feeling inadequate and just trying to be perfect all the time. I don't have a reason really, I don't always have an explanation for all the things I do that you don't understand at times. I guess maybe I'm just a silly girl.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Just Because

She knows right when I'm about cry.
                           I know she can do it when she doesn't want to try.
She is sometimes the only one who laughs when I'm trying to be funny.
                       As long as I am here, she will never feel like a nobody.
She will stay up all night if I have to talk.
                           If she can no longer run, I will help her to walk.
She gives me everything even if that leaves her with none.
                          I wonder if she knows how much she is loved.
She holds my hand tight when I start to go under.
                       I don't trust any guy to ever be good enough for her.
She means everything to me and I thank God daily.
                      I recieved the best of sisters and that includes Hailey.
            Not much has changed since we were 7 and 10,
            Except now instead of barbies, we have internet.
                               We are now 19 and 22
                   With so little to gain but so much to lose.
                 She is still my best friend now and forever,
                    More like an angel, my sister, Heather.