To the Forgotten Love

Do I believe in everything happens for a reason? That what is meant to be will happen? I always seem to say yes when things are in my favour but if not, it always makes me question. You don't always recognize how hard it is to believe in those statements when let's say, you get in a terrible car accident or you lose your job or your mom passes or in my case, when you lose the one thing that made it hard to breathe and yet so easy to live. When you lose that feeling of pure serendipity and youth-fullness. When that thing which makes you feel so alive and invincable is taken away, it leaves you feeling so empty and almost dead. The more I try to force myself not to think about it, the more things start reminding me of it. Everything was perfect and it was everything I had ever wanted.. then fate had to step in and steal it from me. I have finally come to reality to know this wasn't just a bad dream, it really did happen but again the question still burns in my heart, why did it happen? I will always say that I am moved on and content with my life. I will say that it doesn't hurt anymore and that it doesn't matter. I will laugh and show no weakness to the subject and when people ask I will carry that smile on my face and yet the un-deniable lie in my heart when I say that I don't miss him.