Blessings

I know it's a day late but I thought I'd take a moment to recognize everything I am grateful for. Above everything, I am grateful for my Father in Heaven and this wonderful gospel. I am grateful for my family and their uniqueness and craziness and I am grateful for my friends who are always there to listen and make me smile. I am grateful for my voice and all the other many talents God has given me. I am grateful for my car, believe it or not and I am grateful I have a job. I am grateful for every trial and every pain and tear because they shaped me into who I am today. I am grateful for my thirty pairs of shoes when some people don't even have one. I am grateful for my sister and what a miracle she is to me. I am grateful I got so lucky to have good (pretty normal) and fun room mates:) I am grateful for electricity and heaters and air conditioners. and I'm also grateful for those little un thought of things that don't really seem important except they are! Things like, shampoo/conditioner, rain, internet, strawberries, belts, chocolate, make-up, forgiveness, ibuprofen, piano, microwaves, high heels, temples, glow-in-the-dark stars, blankies, and Blogger (for allowing me to put up things like this when probably nobody cares what's on my mind :)

MEAN

This post goes out to one of my used to be bestest friends.
You, with your words like knives and swords and weapons that you use AGAINST me. You, have knocked me off my feet AGAIN, got me feeling like a nothing. You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard calling me out when I'm WOUNDED. You, picking on the WEAKER man. Well you can take me down with just one single blow, but you don't know what you don't know. Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city and all you're ever gunna be is MEAN. Someday I'll be big enough so you can't HIT me and all you're EVER gunna be is mean. Why you gotta be so MEAN?? You, with your switching sides and your wildfire lies and your humiliation. You have pointed out my FLAWS again, is if I don't already see them. I walk with my head down trying to block you OUT cause I'll NEVER impress you. I just want to feel okay again. I bet you got pushed around, somebody made you COLD. But the cycle ends right NOW, cause you can't lead me down that road. And all you're ever gunna be is mean, and a LIAR and pathetic and ALONE in life and mean and mean and mean and mean. -Taylor Swift

What Really Matters

Listen to a soft song on the piano, let the very beats of your heart be so quiet and soft. Close your eyes and listen. Look at a picture of Christ or watch an elderly couple whose love never grows old even though they will. Walk around the grounds of a temple, be aware of every sinlgle breath you take and count it. Slow down and look up at the amazing sky and the presence of life all around you. Close your eyes and listen. Remember when you were a child and the only world you knew was your backyard and your home but you could always escape to a different world in your imagination where nothing could hurt you, nothing could make you frustrated or angry. A place where you could be alone, where you could be who you wanted. Go there now, it's stll there, just find it. Close your eyes and listen. Let everything go, just for a little while. Forget all your pain and shortcomings, forget all your stress and worries. Forget that you're human. Let it all go. Remember that life is meant to be lived not audited. Remember that God loves you because you are his. Take a moment to listen, to be still, to run away, to remember. Above all, don't forget that every moment counts.

Leave Better All That You Find

I have been listening to this song (above) a lot lately and I remembered how much I used to love it and I also remembered that I used to know exactly who I was maybe 4 or 5 months ago and now I'm not so sure.. I mean, I'm not like a bad person but I think I've gotten lost a bit and I really didn't realize it until I met someone about a week ago.. I want to be so much better, I'm not sure who I have been pretending to be for the past month or so but it's not me. I don't know, when I'm around him I feel like I know who I can be and who I was before.. it's one of those things in life where that one thing that you have been waiting for finally comes but at the exact moment when you're not prepared for it. It's like when you find something that just makes you so happy and just so yourself and for a moment everything makes sense and you feel almost enchanted by it, you want to embrace it and be around it all the time. Once again I am just ranting on and I don't make any sense but that's what's been on my mind for the past three days.