The Song Stuck In My Head

Let's just admit it that I have seen this thing they call love never work out. I've been deserted and I've been hurt too many times before. But now you're here standing in front of me and I just can't stop from thinking..
      Your smile is like the stars I can't describe. Your eyes are like the perfect sunrise and your laugh is like the song stuck in my head, it goes la la la la.
You come close to me, I start trembling because I still can't beleive that it's true. You make my heart race when I look at you're face telling me that you'll never leave and then I think..
      Your smile is like the stars I can't describe. Your eyes are like the perfect sunrise and your laugh is like the song stuck in my head, it goes la la la la.
Yes here it is, right before me. I can see it.. Could this be my happy ending? Now I'm letting go, falling for everything and finally I want to tell you what's been on my mind..
      Your smile is like the stars I can't describe. Your eyes are like the perfect sunrise. Your laugh is still stuck in my head, goin la la la love. Your hands are my safest anchor and your kiss takes me far away and the voice that says we're going to make it, it goes la la la la love. Now I sing la la la la love. La la la la love.

When Faith Is All I Have

More things deny the presence of God than the things that can't help but show there is. I have sadly come to find out this statement is true in the world today, but why? Some say it is because he is merciless and yet we all have a hope inside us that he is when we reach judgement day. Some say it is because he doesn't answer our prayers and yet we fail to be quiet enough to hear him. Others make the claim that we came from the natural occurrences of nature and space and yet the phenomenal wonders of the human brain and even the miracle of birth gives doubt to that. Many will say it is because they haven't seen any signs of his hand in their life but then again they wake up every morning still breathing, they just barely missed that car at the intersection, they passed that final exam they didn't study for, their spouse made it through the surgery without any complications. Yet, for all the other times that a loved one didn't wake up that morning, that car hit you, you failed the final exam, and the surgery didn't go as planned.. well that is what we call life and it has to happen to everybody. Don't ever think that because something you are going through is really hurting you and making your life miserable that it must mean there is no God or that he must not love you as much as everyone else. When you say that, you are telling everyone around you that whatever they are going through or will go through doesn't matter because you have it worse and you hurt worse. The thing to realize here is that it is life. We have to go through hell and walk on nails and fall to the ground and not just once, again and again. But after you have tasted the bitter, than comes the sweet. If the bitter and hard things become more important or bring you down, the good things aren't worth it anymore. We have to fight for the good things in the world. I have found that the more good you try to find, the more evil that comes. Well, just keep fighting. I don't have proof. I don't have evidence. I can't even make a promise. But this is when it counts. This is when I have to hold on, I have to fight. This is when faith is all I have.

Falling

Along with thousands of other young women in this world, I have had my heart broken one too many times. What crosses the line between learning your lesson and not falling into the same cycles over and over again versus picking yourself up, drying the tears and simply opening up and trusting? What is it that makes individuals trust that new person or even in some instances the same person again? Is it just the hope that you will feel alive and whole again? Is it the assumption that it will be different this time and that the same phrase will be repeated that "he is different"? Is it the belief that you have finally found someone of real worth and much better than the one before? I don't think anybody really knows these answers, I think that's maybe just what love's about. Not knowing what's going to happen or how long it will last. They call it "falling" in love because when you fall, it's different every time and you're not sure if you will hit the ground hard and fast or if that someone will catch you. Falling is an action that requires you to just let go. Be warned that the harder you do fall, the harder it will be to say goodbye when it ends and the worse the heart break but try not to let that reality stop you. Love is sweet and good. It brings out the best in you and sometimes the worst. It brings new meaning to your life and makes everything seem more worth it and almost literally makes everything spring into life. So the only thing I can think of to do is to just keep letting love in, surrender your heart, keep falling without thinking you're just going to hit that ground again. A life without love would be empty so even if you do just end up getting hurt, I believe it is better than not having had it at all.

To the Forgotten Love

Do I believe in everything happens for a reason? That what is meant to be will happen? I always seem to say yes when things are in my favour but if not, it always makes me question. You don't always recognize how hard it is to believe in those statements when let's say, you get in a terrible car accident or you lose your job or your mom passes or in my case, when you lose the one thing that made it hard to breathe and yet so easy to live. When you lose that feeling of pure serendipity and youth-fullness. When that thing which makes you feel so alive and invincable is taken away, it leaves you feeling so empty and almost dead. The more I try to force myself not to think about it, the more things start reminding me of it. Everything was perfect and it was everything I had ever wanted.. then fate had to step in and steal it from me. I have finally come to reality to know this wasn't just a bad dream, it really did happen but again the question still burns in my heart, why did it happen? I will always say that I am moved on and content with my life. I will say that it doesn't hurt anymore and that it doesn't matter. I will laugh and show no weakness to the subject and when people ask I will carry that smile on my face and yet the un-deniable lie in my heart when I say that I don't miss him.

One More Day

okay this song is called (above) and again to remind you, these songs are mostly from a while ago.

Don't let the words sink down deep in my heart, but let the things you said go away. Take away all my heartache and all my pain, just hold me closer as we stand in the rain.
~And let's just smile one more day and hold my hand one more day, oh won't you dance with me one more day? Just please love me one more day.
Don't let the wind come push us off course. Let the road keep going so we can drive, people say we're impossible but I believe. Just stay with me and that's all I need.
~So let's just smile one more day and hold my hand one more day. Oh won't you dance with me one more day? Just please love me one more day.
Don't give up on us now, we can make it. And don't you cradle my heart then just break it and don't take love for granted or it's gunna be gone. Please don't fight with your heart cause you'll always be wrong..
~So lets just smile one more day and hold my hand one more day. Won't you dance with me one more day? just please love me, please love me, love me.. just one more day.

Forever

Alright just a pre-warning, this song is not relavent to anything pertaining to my life now, I wrote it awhile ago but I just thought it might be fun to post some of my songs every now and then and if it's lame to write songs so beit.. ha but I choose not to say who they were written for. This one is called Forever.

I try not to think of the past.. I try not to think of him. I try to fill this emptiness with childish dreams, but my life still remains incomplete.
~Because my forever got severed and now I am dying inside because my only one, my darling, my everything, changed his mind.
Does he remember my love? And would he ever re-consider.. He said he wasn't good enough but perfection's never what I wanted. Would he realize if he knew..
~That my forever got severed and now I am dying inside because my only one, my darling, my everything, changed his mind.. oh who knew forever could be severed? And that I'd be broken this way? Because he looked right through me and took every piece of my heart..
Who knew forever could be severed.. And now I don't know who I am.

The Inner Strength

Sometimes individuals feel like they have hit a "wall" or they're at rock bottom or there is no chance of a victory. There are various examples of this occurance. One such may be that of a wayward person striving for forgiveness and begging for a second chance. They are sparce of hope and broken on the inside, yet no matter how much friends and family can try to help, they just don't understand what is happening inside. At the very last moment it's that small inner strength that pulls them out of despair.

This could also be reared to runners and that last lap. They can't simply stop and take a quick drink of gatorade. They don't have the option of a team mate to finish it for them or a friend to carry them. When they are savoring every ounce of oxygen that enters their body, and every part of their body is straining and in pain, it's those split seconds that a runner swears they'll never do this again. But then they draw some wondrous and powerful strength from within that pulls them across that line and in turn forget the hurt.

It may be a heartbreak, one that everyone views as not a big deal and possibly even an over-reaction yet to the individual, it's a literal feeling deep inside that you can feel something tearing away from you. Almost like a real part of you is taken away. And it is especially in this predicament that nothing or no-one can help. And whether it's the need to move on and forget or to let someone else into your heart, once again it is that amazing and unique power from within that heals them.

So no matter the situation, whatever or whoever it is that is making you hurt, don't let it become big enough that it can make you give up on yourself. You decide when you want to give up, or stop running, or stop loving, or stop dreaming, or stop trying, or stop believing in yourself. When everything else falls apart and when everyone else fails you, you still have that inner strength, it's you. Use it.